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Why Did the Howells Pack So Many Clothes for a Three-Hour Tour?
If there is a question that endures across generations of television watchers, it is, “why the f*ck did the Howells pack so many f*ckin’ clothes for a run-of-the-mill three-hour tour of the Hawaiian islands?”
Other questions come to mind as well. Why even bother to go on a touristy tour with a bunch of commoners? Surely they could afford to charter a private yacht, right?
After years of shallow and half-assed research combined with inner pondering, I believe that I have solved this mystery.
The Howells Were on the Lam
It was the 1960s. Income tax rates reached 90 percent for the upper brackets. While the one percent of their day had their accountants use elaborate loopholes to mitigate their tax exposure, sometimes things could backfire.
It is quite possible that Thurston had spent the 1950s using elaborate tax avoidance schemes until uncle Sam finally caught up with him in the 1960s. What better way to truncate an IRS investigation than disappearing off the face of the earth.
The “Disappearance” Was Nothing but an Elaborate Ruse
Thurston’s original plan was to “disappear” in the Pacific Ocean. This so that his team of litigators back home could eventually have him declared officially dead thereby ending the investigation and the risk of spending years in jail for tax fraud.
The Evidence
This explains why the Howells took as much luggage and cash with them as they did.
It also explains the presence of Ginger. Have you ever asked yourself why she too took nearly as much luggage and makeup on the three-hour tour as did the Howells?
Among Thurston’s many financial interests was his involvement in bankrolling many Hollywood productions over the decades.
In that time, he had many an affair with young starlets. Ginger happened to be his latest fling and he was rather attached to her. Hence her presence on the S.S. Minnow on that fateful trip.
